The importance of human touch is indisputable. There has never been a study that has demonstrated the detrimental effects of loving connected touch and God help me if I ever come across one. So we are going to start with that as the premise to our conversation here today.
How much connected loving touch are you getting in your life on a regular basis? Pause. Think about this for a moment. I feel almost certain that most of us could not quantify that on a daily basis, much less a weekly basis, unless you are a new couple who is infatuated with one another. Even then, the connected touch is often overshadowed by something altogether more intriguing: hot, palpable, exciting, sexual touch. Yes, I think the desire for sexual pleasure and the desire to give it is often a cover up for some much-needed sensual, loving, hearts in touch. Heck, ideally I get the best of both worlds as often as I can…
What is connected touch? For me, loving connected touch is being caressed, held, fondled, or adored in a way that makes you feel love, completely relaxed, completely safe, and almost like you’re weightless and floating on cloud. We all have different ways of “dropping-in” and how that looks and feels like for us. We often experience this during the best of massages, from our parents as children if we’re lucky (minus the fondled part) or in some highly unusual cases, from a professional in the field of such things. And what a treat that last one can be! Imagine being able to lay down, without feeling any obligation or need to get back to reciprocate, without any need to impress, without any need to respond, and just be adored and loved and appreciated your touch.
I’m not even going to address here why touch is important. I would not even did not question with an answer. The question on your mind should be how do I get the good stuff?
You get the good stuff by asking for it. You get the good stuff by allowing yourself to receive it. You get the good stuff I sitting in intention to bring it into your field. You get the good stuff by knowing, that you are worthy and that you deserve it. Those are the mental aspects of it.
Here is a little tip to get you started. Grab a friend, lover, member of the opposite sex, and ask if they will indulge you in a little game that they will love. While I’m being playful in the article here, this should be someone who you trust, feel safe around, and actually would like their hands running all of your body.
Take turns lying flat on the floor, the couch, the bed, or massage table and let the receiver closed her eyes. As they lie there, gently ask what they like and how they like to be touched. Is it soft and delicate, or do they like fingernails and for to be a little rougher? You’re not going for sexual pleasure here, but those type of feelings may and often do surface. What you are going for here is an opportunity to help yourselves unlock and trust as fully as possible, which allows your body to actually heal from anything that it has been processing are struggling with.
Ask your partner, about the type of pressure they like if you like fingertips or palms, if they like to feel more of a sensually connected touch or more of a professional feeling. Pick a great temperature for the room, pick something very comfortable to wear, pick something very comfortable to lay on. Have some great music or no music at all. This can go on and on for very long time but commit to at least 15 full minutes of loving connected touch. The giver should focus on giving love directly from the heart. They can imagine love flowing from their heart, over their shoulders, arms and out their fingers and hands. Set the intention to give your partner love. You may find that as you’re giving this to someone you have some of your own vulnerabilities, insecurities or issues come up. Do you even want to be doing this? Can you do this fully? You’ll find that the more you open, the more there is to open. There is no limit to the depth of love that you can give someone and, the bonus is the better you get and more tuned in you become, the better you actually feel while giving. When both giving and receiving become the pleasurable phenomenal experience, you’re on the right track. Indulge.